Wednesday, June 7, 2006


Until recently, I haven't been to church since I was pregnant with Cooper. After he was born, and especially after I went back to work, the thought of putting him in someone elses care on a weekend stopped my heart. My guilt from working made it too hard to do. So I didn't. Over the last few months I had often talked about trying to find a church I liked in Garland. The trouble is that I compare every church to my old church - Grace Community. I love that church and it was very much another home to me for several years. But when I moved, the commute was just a little much. So, I started checking out churches around my new home. I tried a couple and there was one that I went to a few times, but I didn't really like the preacher's style of preaching, and I also didn't like that the church had a LOT of recovery and 12-step programs. There's nothing wrong with that, it just wasn't for me. I also realized that Cooper needs to be around other kids, and thought that if I go to church and put him in the nursery, that would be good for him - not to mention I really want him to grow up in a good church home.

Cooper and I went to Firewheel Church for the first time two Sunday's ago. I went plenty early so that I could hang out in the nursery with Coop before church started. This worked pretty well, but I was definately distracted during the service - guilt and worry (and the topic of the service was part 2 of a 2 part series on the Divinci Code, which I have no interest in). When I went to get Cooper we both had tears in our eyes. I decided I HAD to stick to it and go again. So last Sunday, we went again. The pastor was on vacation, so there was a guest speaker that was really good. Cooper had a hard time and was really clingy in the nursery. When I dropped him off, he was crying and calling for me, so I sat outside where he couldn't see me and waited for him to calm down - all the while, I was crying and my heart was breaking. When I went to get him, he ran from across the room to get to me and knocked over a little girl that was in his way! I know it's going to be hard, but I also know I have to keep going and keep putting Cooper in the nursery. Hopefully he'll get used to it and enjoy it.

Then last night, some kids from the church stopped by to invite Joseph to the service tonight! He said he wanted to go! I was so excited and so proud!

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